Dear Naresh(Neo),
Thank you very much for your fabulous opinions. This is what I am really expecting from my friends.
Nothing in this world can be generalised and it varies from person to person. Whatever I am writing you take it as my opinion in this moment. I am not judging anyone and am not telling anything to do. Just take my opinions as a point of view, love them or criticize them, but think about them.
1."Just a one sided argument without any details. "
I personally feel arguments are a waste of time. When you start arguing, you start protecting your point of views which I dont want to do.
2."A man is bound to be attracted by women and vice-versa. This trait is already a given in human. "
If you add personality, character, behaviour, belief etc along with looks for our OUTWARD IMPRESSION, yes this is what Iam telling you is your strength. Use your strength to attract the mate by yourself.
What I am telling is not to give up your strength by making your parents or some other people responsible for what you have to do. You can do it for yourselves by your own strength.
My logic is "giving away strength is weakness".
3."So the weakness if it exists is not due to the lack of traits in male but due to the Outward-impression"
If people lack the traits( whatever you've said) they will become Gays. So when you accept that you dont have the outward-impression and accepting the strength of others for your journey in life is nothing but weakness. Every individual in this world will have their own strength in Outward-impression, find it, use it but never give it up.
So, this is the premise of my opinion.
4."But you cannot generalize the same. "
Yes, I totally accept.
5."I can only imagine now your views about marriage "
Please dont do that. They change everyday. Not only on marriage but on everything.
6."Why did you call that statement a "fact"? "
I absolutely miscommunicated by putting a word fact. Yes I do accept that it is wrong to quote 'fact'.
7."If you do whatever you want to do with your full heart and soul, then you will attain success"
This is the logic you have given yourself. I will show you hundreds and thousands of people who do whatever they want to do with their full heart and soul and never attained success.
"Doing what you want to do is success" is a continuous process. If you leave it in middle giving reasons, it is a failure. Leaving it in middle and still doing what you think you want to do then is what is success for me.
For eg: If you want to become a Doctor, you start studying for that. In the process, if someday you strongly believe you dont want to become a doctor but an actor. If you start trying for your new wish, you are still successful for me.
When you give reasons that studying doctor is difficult etc etc, then you are a failure.
Success for me is what you want to do and not forcing yourself for achieving something because of the logic you have given yourself.
The outcome is nowhere in your hands is what the poem says. I totally respect you from your words that you needn't take it for granted. I appreciate it. This is what Buddha says: ' You needn't believe anything just because somebody said it. You shouldn't believe untill you see it, hear it , feel it etc,. for yourself'
8."may be you will retire getting nothing.."
What if you retire getting nothing as long as you are happy for what you are and what you've been.
Finally, I am still in the process of understanding all these. That is the reason I started this blog. I will post so many topics in this process. your comments mean a lot to me.
Thank you veryyyyy muccccchhhhhhhhhh..........
Pradeep Varma
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Response to Comments (added new ones.....)
Thank you all for your Comments. The more you comment the much enlightened I am. So please do comment.
1) So, I earnestly feel that BEING SUCCESSFUL means BEING PURPOSE DRIVEN
Dear Kiran,
Thank you for your additions on my topic over Success. They are all true when you believe in the philosophy of Robin Sharma and others.
You are absolutely correct when you talk about GOAL SETTING, ACTION, PROCESS & JOURNEY. I personally think we should discuss about 'Purpose of Life' issue.
There is a philosophy in the same Sanskrit known as Soonyathvam which says nothing is important. You have to do nothing and be nothing to understand 'Nothing'. What you have to achieve in life is nothing but 'Nothing'.
Nihilism(Nihil in Latin means Nothing) also is of the same concept which believes that nothing has any importance and that life lacks Purpose.
I will write a blog completely on this Topic in the near future.
You are creating a Logic out of your life by saying 'what’s the use if it doesn’t fulfil the purpose'. And as i told you life doesn't listen to your fucking logic.
Its well and good as long as you are in calm waters, but when you are in a storm, the boat may take a turn and drift away from your goal. You will get frustated and cry aloud saying you have a purpose in life and you have to achieve it.
As long as you belive you can tilt the boat and drive it towards your goal, you are absolutely successful. You try to push it so hard but the boat may never turn. This doen't mean you are not successful because you dont know what will be the outcome of anything. You just have to do what you think is right for achieving what you want.
You are creating your logic by inventing a Purpose for your life. You say you have to do something to prove someone that you are the one. In order to fulfill your purpose you will give more reasons and more logic which will ultimately make your life complex. This will ultimately destroy your original state of being which is HAPPINESS. No matter what you do in life, you have to be in the original state of being called happiness. This comes when you dont compell life to act according to your logic of so called Purpose of Life.
Whenever you talk to a Successful Person:
He gives you logic why he is Successful.
Whenever you talk to an Unsucessful Person:
He gives you logic why he is not Successful.
But the fact here is both of them tried and they had their outcome. Then they are giving logic to the outcome which is bull-shit.
So dont listen to the logic they are giving because both of them are successful in doing whatever they want to do. They are giving a logic to the outcome which no body can ever know before hand.
What I mean to tell is both these people are Successful because they have done whatever they want to do. There are other people who never try to do what they want to do whom I call as UNSUCCESSFUL.
2) It'll better if u write a post on the topic 'Marriage' itself
Dear Harika
I think i shouldn't write a post on the topic 'Marriage' with my current state of mind. I am still thinking about it, whether we really need it or not. I can write topics 'history of Marriage in Indian culture' and 'Marriage in Western culture'.
These things will destroy our present understanding of marriage and you will be disturbed which I dont want now.
It will take some time for me to conclude and a write a topic. Whenever I come with the understanding I will definitely write it.
3) doing it for finding out a lifemate (not a mere mate) who will bound to you for eternity
Dear Kiran
Whether it is a mate or a life mate, find it yourself with your strength. A person without strength gives out Logic which I dont want you to do.
Coming to love marriage or arranged marriage, success of it is purely personal. You cannot comment on it.
Whatever you've said about love marriage might be true ten years before this date. The reason is people in Arranged marriage used to bind with each other because of their fear for society and the conditions were like that at that time.
Now the conditions are completely different and 'Nuclear Families' are the one to stay where more number of Arranged Marriages are going to fail from now on. This phenomena is already persistant.
4) talking about something without any logic isn't helping that in any way....
Dear Snigdha
The whole idea of this blog is to express myself so that people around me comment and help me to enlighten.
Thank you exactly for doing that.
For me enlightenment is to come out of all the reasons and logic we have given ourselves over generations.
All these things I am doing and this blog in particular is helping me a lot. This not helping me is what you thought is not the truth for me. This is actually helping me and you have given a logic or whatever you call it for yourself that this is not helping me.
See, this is the logic I am speaking about.
'Arranged marriage is a weakness' is a topic given to my thought process to attract viewers and their comments. Here the truth is Marriage and all the Why's and What's are the logics we have given. I am talking about all these logics to come out of these logics.
I dont know whether there is a logic in my thought process or not, all I know is I have to come out of all the logics we have given ourselves and come to a state of mind called NOTHING.
So this is my struggle to go there and all you people who are commenting are actually helping me.
P.S: I want you to comment on all my posts.
5) Confusing who.....
Dear Bharathi
I am not confusing anyone and am not trying for that because I am in a state of confusion and am thinking over that.
I am expressing all these just to get other point of views and so that I may come out of my confusions.
Dont expect me to give you the reasons in my Story named RYTHU BIDDA. This is just a story i've written from an inspiration i've quoted earier. I am just trying to write it as a Cinema Sript for a short movie.
Thank you very very much for your encouragement.
6) I would give a classic example which everyone can relate
Dear Prashanth
I will accept to the fact that you may many times cannot attract a particular person because of hell a lot of reasons. But if you say 'how many guys do you think can attract possible mates. And again I raise, Is attracting a person under one's control', this is absolutely I called Weakness.
As you've said, you will be attracted to so many possible mates. From all those can't you attract one. I'm not talking about attracting all those. If you say it's not in your control, you are absolutely accepting your weakness.
If you are not attracted to your mate or she towards you, why be a Couple.
I personally feel talking about 'Forcing Love' is bull shit.
I am very grateful to you for your time and value in your comment. I would expect the same from you everytime.
1) So, I earnestly feel that BEING SUCCESSFUL means BEING PURPOSE DRIVEN
Dear Kiran,
Thank you for your additions on my topic over Success. They are all true when you believe in the philosophy of Robin Sharma and others.
You are absolutely correct when you talk about GOAL SETTING, ACTION, PROCESS & JOURNEY. I personally think we should discuss about 'Purpose of Life' issue.
There is a philosophy in the same Sanskrit known as Soonyathvam which says nothing is important. You have to do nothing and be nothing to understand 'Nothing'. What you have to achieve in life is nothing but 'Nothing'.
Nihilism(Nihil in Latin means Nothing) also is of the same concept which believes that nothing has any importance and that life lacks Purpose.
I will write a blog completely on this Topic in the near future.
You are creating a Logic out of your life by saying 'what’s the use if it doesn’t fulfil the purpose'. And as i told you life doesn't listen to your fucking logic.
Its well and good as long as you are in calm waters, but when you are in a storm, the boat may take a turn and drift away from your goal. You will get frustated and cry aloud saying you have a purpose in life and you have to achieve it.
As long as you belive you can tilt the boat and drive it towards your goal, you are absolutely successful. You try to push it so hard but the boat may never turn. This doen't mean you are not successful because you dont know what will be the outcome of anything. You just have to do what you think is right for achieving what you want.
You are creating your logic by inventing a Purpose for your life. You say you have to do something to prove someone that you are the one. In order to fulfill your purpose you will give more reasons and more logic which will ultimately make your life complex. This will ultimately destroy your original state of being which is HAPPINESS. No matter what you do in life, you have to be in the original state of being called happiness. This comes when you dont compell life to act according to your logic of so called Purpose of Life.
Whenever you talk to a Successful Person:
He gives you logic why he is Successful.
Whenever you talk to an Unsucessful Person:
He gives you logic why he is not Successful.
But the fact here is both of them tried and they had their outcome. Then they are giving logic to the outcome which is bull-shit.
So dont listen to the logic they are giving because both of them are successful in doing whatever they want to do. They are giving a logic to the outcome which no body can ever know before hand.
What I mean to tell is both these people are Successful because they have done whatever they want to do. There are other people who never try to do what they want to do whom I call as UNSUCCESSFUL.
2) It'll better if u write a post on the topic 'Marriage' itself
Dear Harika
I think i shouldn't write a post on the topic 'Marriage' with my current state of mind. I am still thinking about it, whether we really need it or not. I can write topics 'history of Marriage in Indian culture' and 'Marriage in Western culture'.
These things will destroy our present understanding of marriage and you will be disturbed which I dont want now.
It will take some time for me to conclude and a write a topic. Whenever I come with the understanding I will definitely write it.
3) doing it for finding out a lifemate (not a mere mate) who will bound to you for eternity
Dear Kiran
Whether it is a mate or a life mate, find it yourself with your strength. A person without strength gives out Logic which I dont want you to do.
Coming to love marriage or arranged marriage, success of it is purely personal. You cannot comment on it.
Whatever you've said about love marriage might be true ten years before this date. The reason is people in Arranged marriage used to bind with each other because of their fear for society and the conditions were like that at that time.
Now the conditions are completely different and 'Nuclear Families' are the one to stay where more number of Arranged Marriages are going to fail from now on. This phenomena is already persistant.
4) talking about something without any logic isn't helping that in any way....
Dear Snigdha
The whole idea of this blog is to express myself so that people around me comment and help me to enlighten.
Thank you exactly for doing that.
For me enlightenment is to come out of all the reasons and logic we have given ourselves over generations.
All these things I am doing and this blog in particular is helping me a lot. This not helping me is what you thought is not the truth for me. This is actually helping me and you have given a logic or whatever you call it for yourself that this is not helping me.
See, this is the logic I am speaking about.
'Arranged marriage is a weakness' is a topic given to my thought process to attract viewers and their comments. Here the truth is Marriage and all the Why's and What's are the logics we have given. I am talking about all these logics to come out of these logics.
I dont know whether there is a logic in my thought process or not, all I know is I have to come out of all the logics we have given ourselves and come to a state of mind called NOTHING.
So this is my struggle to go there and all you people who are commenting are actually helping me.
P.S: I want you to comment on all my posts.
5) Confusing who.....
Dear Bharathi
I am not confusing anyone and am not trying for that because I am in a state of confusion and am thinking over that.
I am expressing all these just to get other point of views and so that I may come out of my confusions.
Dont expect me to give you the reasons in my Story named RYTHU BIDDA. This is just a story i've written from an inspiration i've quoted earier. I am just trying to write it as a Cinema Sript for a short movie.
Thank you very very much for your encouragement.
6) I would give a classic example which everyone can relate
Dear Prashanth
I will accept to the fact that you may many times cannot attract a particular person because of hell a lot of reasons. But if you say 'how many guys do you think can attract possible mates. And again I raise, Is attracting a person under one's control', this is absolutely I called Weakness.
As you've said, you will be attracted to so many possible mates. From all those can't you attract one. I'm not talking about attracting all those. If you say it's not in your control, you are absolutely accepting your weakness.
If you are not attracted to your mate or she towards you, why be a Couple.
I personally feel talking about 'Forcing Love' is bull shit.
I am very grateful to you for your time and value in your comment. I would expect the same from you everytime.
My Future Posts........
I am planning for some more posts in the near future with the following topics:
1) Experiance kills Creativity.
2) A Coup for Happiness.
3) Nihilism is nothing but Soonyathvam.
4) The Matrix ripped open.
I will be very happy with your comments, no matter what they are. Dont get offensed for my opinions because they are just my opinions.
I am planning to write short stories even in these blogs. One such story is:
1) Rythu Bidda
The concept of the story is based on:
-A Doctor's son is becoming a Doctor
-A Politician's son is becoming a Politician
-A Business Man's son is becoming a Business Man
-An Actor's son is becoming an Actor
Why a Farmer's son is not becoming a Farmer??????
I will post these in the near future. If anyone can suggest me on any topics or give me titles for stories, i will develop them and post them. I will be very happy for your help.
1) Experiance kills Creativity.
2) A Coup for Happiness.
3) Nihilism is nothing but Soonyathvam.
4) The Matrix ripped open.
I will be very happy with your comments, no matter what they are. Dont get offensed for my opinions because they are just my opinions.
I am planning to write short stories even in these blogs. One such story is:
1) Rythu Bidda
The concept of the story is based on:
-A Doctor's son is becoming a Doctor
-A Politician's son is becoming a Politician
-A Business Man's son is becoming a Business Man
-An Actor's son is becoming an Actor
Why a Farmer's son is not becoming a Farmer??????
I will post these in the near future. If anyone can suggest me on any topics or give me titles for stories, i will develop them and post them. I will be very happy for your help.
Arranged Marriage is a Sign of Weakness
The very trait a person whether it is male or female should possess is 'The strength to attract the opposite sex to mate'.
When you are getting ready for an arranged marriage, you are actually giving away your strength of attracting opposite sex by yourself which becomes a weakness in reality. You are covering your weakness with the strength of your Parents or family fame or some other thing for attracting a marriage and not a mere mate.
By admitting for arranged marriage, you are accepting your weakness.
If you cannot attract a possible mate whom you like for yourself and ready to accept the weakness then definitely you can use the most mythical weapon called Arranged Marriage.
When you are getting ready for an arranged marriage, you are actually giving away your strength of attracting opposite sex by yourself which becomes a weakness in reality. You are covering your weakness with the strength of your Parents or family fame or some other thing for attracting a marriage and not a mere mate.
By admitting for arranged marriage, you are accepting your weakness.
If you cannot attract a possible mate whom you like for yourself and ready to accept the weakness then definitely you can use the most mythical weapon called Arranged Marriage.
Triumph over Success.
Most of the people on this planet has a Persistent Fascination towards Success. We praise successful companies, we read success stories and we adore successful people.
From the stories we hear and people we interact, we tend to believe society listens to any non sense spoken by a successful person and doesn't care for unsuccessful. The conditions worsen for the Failures. This to an extent is very much true. So we believe that success attributes Pride, Power, Prestige and the most important thing in the world - 'Happiness'.
From all the stories of success we hear we tend to create certain attributes which cause Success.
The attributes such as Hard work, consistency, luck etc we believe will give us Success.
If that is the case whoever has these attributes should be Successful. But that is not the case in real life. We tend to reason or logic from the stories only after success has been achieved.
We are used to find out the logic out of every situation and forget the very fact as Osho said 'Life has no fucking logic and life doesn't listen to your logic'.
When the very logic that says one should be successful in life has vanished then 'Why should we be successful?'
May be because Success proves that we are something......
Why should we prove we are something?
May be proving we are something in the society and that we are great gives us happiness......
And I promise you - 'Happiness is a state of being and Success has nothing to do with it'.
As a matter of fact Success might give you temporary happiness but will kill happiness as a state of being in long term with all the logic and reasons that you give yourself after the success.
Probably we have taken the very meaning of Success in a wrong way.
Whenever you want to do anything in life, hell a lot of fears arise. Fear of failure, fear of ridicule, fear of non-acceptance etc. Overcoming all the issues and doing what you want is not a small thing. After doing 'whatever you want to do', you will expect an outcome.
I personally think whatever the outcome may be, the outcome of that is not 'The Success' but the very act of doing whatever you want to do itself is SUCCESS.
This is what Veda Vyas in his epic story of Mahabharata through his charismatic character named Sri Krishna said: 'Without being attached to the fruits of activities, one should act as a matter of duty, for by working without attachment one attains the Supreme'.
From the stories we hear and people we interact, we tend to believe society listens to any non sense spoken by a successful person and doesn't care for unsuccessful. The conditions worsen for the Failures. This to an extent is very much true. So we believe that success attributes Pride, Power, Prestige and the most important thing in the world - 'Happiness'.
From all the stories of success we hear we tend to create certain attributes which cause Success.
The attributes such as Hard work, consistency, luck etc we believe will give us Success.
If that is the case whoever has these attributes should be Successful. But that is not the case in real life. We tend to reason or logic from the stories only after success has been achieved.
We are used to find out the logic out of every situation and forget the very fact as Osho said 'Life has no fucking logic and life doesn't listen to your logic'.
When the very logic that says one should be successful in life has vanished then 'Why should we be successful?'
May be because Success proves that we are something......
Why should we prove we are something?
May be proving we are something in the society and that we are great gives us happiness......
And I promise you - 'Happiness is a state of being and Success has nothing to do with it'.
As a matter of fact Success might give you temporary happiness but will kill happiness as a state of being in long term with all the logic and reasons that you give yourself after the success.
Probably we have taken the very meaning of Success in a wrong way.
Whenever you want to do anything in life, hell a lot of fears arise. Fear of failure, fear of ridicule, fear of non-acceptance etc. Overcoming all the issues and doing what you want is not a small thing. After doing 'whatever you want to do', you will expect an outcome.
I personally think whatever the outcome may be, the outcome of that is not 'The Success' but the very act of doing whatever you want to do itself is SUCCESS.
This is what Veda Vyas in his epic story of Mahabharata through his charismatic character named Sri Krishna said: 'Without being attached to the fruits of activities, one should act as a matter of duty, for by working without attachment one attains the Supreme'.
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